Favorite Conversation of the Day...

Mom:  Gentry, what do you think of the tree?

(Gentry turned around to look at the tree and put his arms as far around the tree as he could)

Gentry:  Mommy, the tree is perfect.

I swear he is an elf, on three different occasions he commented on how perfect the tree was when we were decorating the tree, he truly loves Christmas.  He gets that from his grandma (aka Holly the elf or Babey).  

It's Officially Christmas at the Swansons! Ho, Ho, Ho

Today we declared the Christmas season at the Swanson house!  Yeah, is all I have to say... and HO, HO, HO.  We began the season with baking Christmas cookies this morning.  Gentry and Olyvia helped me roll the dough and use the cookie cutters! (They also helped consume half of the dough before it made it to the oven!)  

The highlight was decorating the tree with all the kiddos!  Well, it was seriously crazy trying to keep them entertained with out breaking ornaments.  Besides the craziness it was so fun, we played Christmas music and read all Christmas stories tonight!  So fun!  I was so excited to have our tree up I turned off all the lights but the Christmas tree lights and we read our bedtime stories and memory verses!  It was so fun and I am so excited for the Christmas season!  Oh ya Happy Thanksgiving!  Thanksgiving gets over shadowed in our house because we start semi-celebrating Christmas in July! :)

Story of the Day... (Big Sigh)

As you can imagine our house is beyond crazy with four kiddos running around, and today was no different.  Jeff was still at work, Tandi was getting ready for work, and I was trying to bath the four kids.  Gentry and Olivia were sitting on the couch reading a book, waiting to be called into the bathroom.  Christian was in the shower, and Nate was going to the bathroom getting ready to get in the shower.  I turned around to get Christian out of the shower only see Nate drop his matchbox car into the toilet while standing there.  Since I was in the middle of showers, I figured I would wait until I got them all out of the bathroom and then take care of the car in the toilet with Nate's pee!  (I told him not to flush so we wouldn't have a plumber bill tomorrow!)  

I finished bathing all the kids, brushed their teeth, and began reading when Jeff walked in.  He stumbled upon the car himself, but didn't retrieve right away either.  The night went on, we read, kids went to the bathroom before bed (at this point I had forgotten about the car!), and we put them to bed.  

As we were sitting watching dancing with the stars and I remembered the car...

Ashlie:  Jeff did you get the car out of the toilet?

Jeff:  No, did you?

Ashlie:  No, that's a boys job.

Jeff:  I can't believe you just left a car in the toilet all day until I got home, so I would have to get it out!

Ashlie:  I didn't it happened when I was giving the kids showers, and I just thought I would wait until all the kids were out of the bathroom, and I forgot about it.

Jeff:  You owe me. 

(Jeff walks down the hall and from the bathroom yells, oh no, no, no, and no, this is not going to happen!  Walks back in the living room with a look of disbelief.  I thought the kids had flushed it.)

Jeff:  Now the car is covered in poop.  I have to get the car, and it's under someone's poop.  One of the kids seriously pooped, and now I have to get the car!

Sad for him, but seriously if you could of only seen how hard and long I laughed at the fact Jeff had to go car fishing in the toilet with poop!  It was a night full of laughter, even though it was really grouse!  I had to keep laughing, since the other part of me wanted to cry because I can't believe this is really my life!  

Veterans Day

I am realizing what a sentimental cry baby I am! On Tuesday (Veterans Day) I went through old pictures of when Jeff came home from Iraq. I sat there smiling and laughing at how tiny and sweet Gentry was, and in between laughs cried thinking about how hard that time was. The night Jeff came home was the most surreal experience I have ever had (even more so than when I had Gentry, I know you women know what I am talking about!) I posted my favorite picture of that night. I think it depicts perfectly what all three of us were thinking...

Jeff: Oh my gosh I have a baby. Look how cute he is, he is like a little toy I can play with all the time. I can't believe I am really home, for good! Man my wife is really hot! (I just added that cause I was hopeful that is what he was thinking:)

Gentry: Who in the world is this guy? It's 4:15 in the morning and I want my mom! How come every night my mom puts me to bed, even when I cry at 7, and now all of a sudden she is keeping me up all night. What is this world coming to? Oh well, at least I still have my binkki!

Ash: I can't believe he's home. It's over, and I don't know exactly how I feel. I wish everyone wasn't starring at us, I feel weird being in front of everyone. He looks so hot in his army outfit! ( I actually was really thinking that!)

It's odd to me that I still can't look at these pictures without crying. In fact a good friend of ours, John Lamb videoed the entire night that Jeff got home and later gave us a copy. To this day, I can't bring myself to watch it. I am not sure if I don't want to feel those feelings, or I am afraid of what I might feel, but I can't hardly relive that time in life, and especially that night without having a little emotional meltdown. (I know, I know, go ahead and tell me I should go to counseling, I am well aware I probably need it, for things beyond Jeff's time in Iraq!) That's what friends are for, to tell you when you have hit your limit and it's time for some counseling sessions!

Anyways, because of my emotions and feelings of our past, we have been going through Veterans Day without really acknowledging it. Each year we get phone calls, emails, and thoughtful gestures from friends and family thanking Jeff for his service, and Gentry and I for our sacrifice, and yet we never talk about it. This year was the first year it started to make me wonder..."hmm, Ash it's been 2 years since Jeff came home, maybe you should begin to deal with those odd little quirks you guys have about his time away!" I guess the first step is acknowledging so we are on the right track!

I think part of our problem is we felt like we should just jump into life and be done since he was home. While that is somewhat true, it is also true that a year and half away from each other, and surprise baby boy in the middle of it affects more aspects of life than I realized. I recently began to realize and admit the person in life that keeps me going is my mom, she was there for everything and has never left me. Whether his fault or not I simply don't completely trust Jeff, because he wasn't there when I felt I needed him the most. (I know, I know, it doesn't make sense, even to me I know its wrong, but truth be told that's how it is!) I also have realized that while I am not convinced I even want anymore children, part of that reason does include my fear of him not being here. Jeff has 2 years left of inactive ready reserve meaning he could possibly be deployed again. I can't bear to think of doing anything else without him.

So there it is, I am just screwed up, and you all know it! Oh well I figure only people who love Jeff and I read our blog so its all good. And besides writing is therapeutic for me, and as you all can tell, I obviously need a little bit of that!

Thoughts on the Elections...

For me this election was more than an election on the economy.  While the economy, war in Iraq, education, and so on are definite factors in my political stance; what is more important than anything else is America's constant choice to turn away from God.  Let me preface this blog with saying I do NOT believe one political party is the representation of Christ.  

When Jeff and I worked with Student Venture (a high school ministry), I was burdened with the realization of what a small percentage of students believed in God, and what an even smaller percentage actually walk with Christ.  I began to think of this in relation to raising my own son.  Since sweet Gentry was born, I was pretty laid back, this began to change as I realized "I will be raising my precious son among all of this."  When Gentry gets to high school, how will I convince him not to have sex-when our schools and society teach and preach the exact opposite; drugs, drinking, and beyond trivial matters... loving others as Christ did and reaching them with the good news.  I can hear the wise words of other moms who have gone before me (mom, corri, my grandma) you pray, you trust God.  But let's be honest... What kind of mom would I be if I didn't worry about these things.  

To bring this thought full circle, politics is a reflection of our personal beliefs.  More and more we see our nation constantly drift from the Godly foundation that our Four Fathers set before us.  We have just elected a man who supports partial birth abortions. What will our President support when Gentry is 16?  My initial thought is... If we want a bigger government (like Obama wants), why not put it to good use?  Let's invest in the lives of young girls, helping them realize how special they are, let's show what a precious gift a baby is to family who can't have a baby, let's love people and invest in them, not the policy and issues.  While nice thoughts, I am afraid this was the last frontier for some of those issues including abortion.  The trend is each generation moves farther and farther away from Christ, and with an administration like the one America just elected, I think that will hold true.  

All is not lost though...  God is sovereign and knew the outcome of this election and everyone to come.  We are still His children, and yes I am believing He will hear my prayers, especially the ones about my little man!  While I am disappointed with the outcome (although I must admit McCain was not my first pick either!)  life goes on, and in four years I have another chance to voice my opinion, and don't worry I will!  

A Weekend with My Hubby!!

Jeff and I went away this weekend for a marriage conference in Vail. It was so fun to get away just the 2 of us. I can't lie we slept in and missed the morning sessions, but a morning slept in well worth it!!! Vail was of course gorgeous and such a romantic place to go. On Saturday night we went to eat at a really nice restaurant, the kind you read the menu and don't really know what it is, and each plate is between $30 and $50. It was good food, and the atmosphere was really romantic, but as I was sitting there I realized...there is just nothing like chips and salsa at a mexican food restaurant! How lame is that, here I was sitting a really nice restaurant but all I could think about was MEXICAN FOOD!
Jeff and I spent the entire weekend together and uninterrupted , and loving every minute! Sadly we get so busy in life we forget to really appreciate our spouse (or at least I do!) So our time away was well worth it. God has been really faithful in providing grace and patience in our home since Tandi and the kids moved in, and while we feel blessed that He has protected us in so many ways, this weekend we realized how much of the little everyday things we miss out with each other because a house full of kids! It was so refreshing and I am so glad I got to spend a weekend with my hubby!!!! I still love that boy!