The Worry Box

Gentry and I have been starting our mornings with a quick little devotion before we dive into our Spanish lessons.  Yesterdays devotion was on worrying.  We discussed how worry doesn't help us and usually can't change what we are worried about.  Gentry and I had a great conversation about worrying, and he shared that since we have moved to Costa Rica that he had been worried that he and Molly might get lost on the beach in a storm and would be all alone with big waves and no one around to help them.  My heart was sad that he really had been thinking of such a horrible situation.  At the same time it turned into a great time of me just listening to his fears and thoughts and ended with me being able to provide some security and peace surrounding a fear of his that seemed so plausible in his mind.  

It also provided a great opportunity to talk about how God protects us and we can always pray when we start to become afraid.  During the end of our conversation I began to question what I was telling him.  The reality is, bad things do happen.  Bad things happen to people who pray daily for safety, bad things happen to the most undeserving, bad things just happen.  I couldn't help but think of the reality that it's possible that something bad could happen.  Now let's be honest, do I think Gentry and Molly Paws will get stuck out in the ocean with big waves all alone without someone there to help them?  Of course not, he has a mom that's full of all those fears I'm telling him not to worry about and trust God with!  I'm like a hawk when it comes to my sweet precious boy!  The kid can't hardly move that I'm not a shadow right behind him since we have moved here!  But I do think it's possible and most likely probable that some day he will face pain, hurt, or loss that he prays will never happen.  

So how do I reassure Gentry that God does protect him, love him, hear his prayers, and also prepare him that life here on earth is nothing close to perfect and often full of pain and suffering?  You got me on that one!!  After discussing God's protection and love for us, I did gently breach the topic that even if we didn't see our prayers answered or even if something bad happens, God is still at work in our lives, He loves us, and we can still trust Him to protect us.  It's hard trying to explain something that is still so confusing to yourself!  But I tried and oddly enough he seemed okay with answer and discussion we had.

After our discussion we decided to make a worry box.  The worry box would be a place that when we have fears or worries we can write our fears on a note card, stick the card in the box, and then pray that God will keep us safe and that He will take the fears away from us so we don't have to worry anymore!  Gentry drew a picture of he and Molly Paws in the ocean with big waves around him.  We put it in the box and then prayed that God would protect he and MP every time they go to the beach, and that Jeff and I would make good decisions and have wisdom when it comes to Gentry and Molly at the beach.  It felt like a win in the game I call motherhood.  At least until that afternoon!

Jeff, Gentry, MP, and I all headed to the beach that afternoon around 3pm.  Literally as soon as we walked around the corner from the street to the beach, there was a huge crowd of people all gathered around, police cars were there, and we saw an ambulance in the distance driving up the beach.    My heart sank.  I had no idea what happened but there was no way to shield G from the fact obviously something bad happened.  I took G and MP with me and we started walking the other way down the beach.  Jeff went over to see what happened.  When we were walking G kept asking and talking about it "Mom what happened?  I think something bad happened cause all the police are there and that ambulance was driving fast.  Is dad gonna tell me what happened?  I wonder if that person is going to die?"  As he kept talking my eyes filled with tears cause of course I could only imagine the worst!  We stopped a little down the beach and we prayed for whoever was hurt.  After we prayed G said "Well if that person dies, it's okay mom, it just means that God wanted them to come to Heaven.  Are you sad?  Why are you sad?  You said that even in bad times God is there and loves us and protects us" It was about this time that Jeff came up and shared that a women had been bitten by a shark on the leg.  They said it was a small shark and she would be okay.  In some weird way I felt relief, but then what did I start immediately doing??? Worrying of course!!  

We decided we would not go into the water, even though literally everyone else just went back into the water like nothing had every happened!!  G was sad and kept telling us how he would just hit the shark and swim away if it came by him, and if he did get bit, he would be tough and just get some stitches and then be fine!! (Oddly enough this didn't provide me with any peace of mind)  At that point I got to remind him how we prayed that God would give Jeff and I wisdom on how to keep him safe when we were at the beach :)  and this was just one of those times!  

Gentry and Jeff stayed and made a sand castle and I took MP for a run down the beach.  As I was running it took everything in me not to break down and cry and throw in the towel to living here!!  My son absolutely LOVES the water and has NO fear what-so-ever and now I have one more thing to worry about living in this new unfamiliar place!  At the same time I was reminded of the discussion G and I had that morning.  Am I going to let fear rule my life and inhibit my adventurous son from becoming who God designed him to be?  Or am I going to pray, use wisdom in parenting, and trust God?  The right answer is of course the latter, but man is that hard!  I'm trying though!  I came home and guess what I did?  Yep I utilized the worry box :)  Here's to one worry, one prayer, and one day at a time!